Be Available
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What does it mean to be available? To yourself. To your family. To your friends. To your community. To life’s purpose as it is moving through you.
My last two notes invited us to reflect on our relationship to substances. And on the scourge of porn addiction. When we lose ourselves. When we numb ourselves. When we misuse our sexual energy. We are not available to life. And we are not available for relationship.
One of the impacts of patriarchy is that most of us men don’t have access to the full range of our human emotions. We do not know how to feel. And so we are not available to ourselves. Numbing and addiction are how we runaway.
If we want to be better men, we have to do the work of coming home to ourselves. This means giving ourselves the space to be still. To breathe. To ground. To connect to earth. And to the heavens. And to allow ourselves to feel.
We do some of this work on our own. And we must do some of this work with each other. This becoming available to ourselves is what allows us to become available to the people that matter most. To the relationships that define our lives.
Listen to women. Notice how often they speak about men not being available. They are not just talking about dating. They are often talking about their partners. About their fathers. About the ways we fail to show up.
We have work to do. Let’s make ourselves available to do it.
Saludos
Gibrán