Don't Tough It Out
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The world has changed since we were last together. How are you doing?
I lost my Abuelo two weeks ago. Trinidad Rivera Chevere. My father’s father. And my idol. A life shaping model of what it means to be a man. Now he is my ancestor. I will offer reflections at a later time.
Today I want to share this facebook post from my friend David Jenkins (Evolutionary Leadership Cohort of 2018.)
Men and masculine identified folks in my life--a care note. If you grew up like me, you might've learned to push through pain and illness to keep playing on the sports field or to keep going at school or work. It's a mix of "tough it out" and "mind over body." During non-pandemic times, both those ideas distance us from our bodies, take years off our lives, and negatively impact those around us--i.e., they're toxic. In this COVID-19 moment, they are extremely, immediately dangerous. If you're inclined to ignore symptoms, to think you're not going to get it, to think you'll be fine even if you do, to think the public health precautions are too much, or that it's cool to ignore them, please pause and hear me. I care about you. I care about your loved ones, and about your elders. I want you and them to stay healthy, and to stay alive. I will also be part of the community that supports you in grief if they don't. The best time to challenge the toxic ideas we've been fed is today.
Dave’s message is obviously prescient. And it also opens up an important conversation among us.
How does this conditioning, the idea that we must tough it out and put our minds over our bodies actually disconnect us from ourselves?
I’m not quite ready to say that all of it is bad. There is something to pushing through. But like all things masculine, it can be taken too far.
The norm has taken a pause. We have an opportunity to break out of the consensus trance. This is the time to tune in to the wisdom in our bodies and the deeper knowing of our hearts.
This the time to evolve.
Let us become better men together.