Backing Down

I was not planning to write about turkeys this morning. But I just had a funny encounter with a male turkey. There is a rafter of wild Turkeys that make their way about our neighborhood in Dorchester. One of the males just got his tail and waddle, and has become quite territorial.

Today as I drove into my street the Turkey decided to get territorial with my girlfriend’s minivan. It refused to get out of the way. I was many, many times bigger. But the Turkey did not seem to care. I backed off a bit, and the Turkey thought it was winning. So it kept coming at me. It was now forcing me to back up into a busier street. I backed off and it kept coming. The Turkey kept thinking it was achieving it’s goal! It was putting me in a real morning bind. 

Thankfully there were no cars on the main street, and I was able to back up and speed up enough to move around the Turkey. “Males” I thought, shaking my head as I left him behind me.

The van could have easily killed that Turkey. I’m not a sadist. And it would have been too messy. But the physical power was definitely on my side. And I thought about all the times we fail to back down when we should. About the way that “not backing down” is a trope of masculinity. 

Most of us know the space. It can happen in a fist fight, or it can be in an argument. It is definitely a place we tend to go to when arguing with our partners. 

This is something that demands our discernment. There is something honorable to holding your ground. We certainly want to stand in our integrity and power when we are standing in our purpose, when we are standing for something truly just. But I’m sure each one of us can point to times when we were just being that Turkey. When our chest had already puffed up, and we were too dumb to back down.

I can also think of wise elders, mentors or even bosses who make the choice not to confront. They have the bigger perspective. They will back up and move around us. They give us time to grow up.

When have you been like the Turkey?

Are you still like it sometimes?

How are you able to tell when it’s just wise to back down?

I’m looking forward to being with you next week. Please read “Masculine Potentials” Chapter 2 of “King, Warrior, Magician, Lover.” It’s a really short chapter. Read it a couple of times. Let’s dive deep into it.

Saludos,

Gibrán