Why Men Seek Danger

I’m a big fan of Sebastian Junger’s work. And I am often moved by his thoughts on masculinity. Two of his books, Tribes and Freedom, have been deeply influential in my own work on how to rescue masculinity.

Here I am sharing: Why Men Seek Danger an interview between Junger and Bari Weiss, on her Honestly podcast. I’m not ready to give a full endorsement of what Junger shares here. But I do think it merits our attention. And it will make for great conversation in our next call, rescheduled for this Monday, April 10 at 8:30 PM East.

I understand that this is yet another pause in our study of “The Magician” in King, Warrior, Magician, Lover. But, since we changed the date, I thought it best to have a self-contained conversation on an important topic in masculinity.

I’ll share an observation and a thought then let you go and will look forward to seeing you on Monday. 

The first is a confession. I have heard of the respected and often controversial journalist, Bari Weiss. I’ve followed her work as I continue to look for heterodox thought. Smart, challenging, thinking outside of my own progressive echo chamber. 

But the whole time I’ve been reading her work, I assumed she was a man. It wasn’t until I heard her voice on this podcast episode that I realized she is a woman. It is unbelievable how often and unconsciously we do this. How even those of us who are trying our best can tend to presume that a voice of authority is a masculine voice. 

I want to catch myself more often.

The other thought is about a shocking turn at the end of Junger’s latest book. 

Freedom is the story of a group of men trespassing their way through endless days of walking along the rail tracks of America. It is a powerful story of self-substance, danger, and male bonding. And a profound reflection on what it is that makes us free. 

The shock comes at the very end, when we learn that both Junger and another one of his companions were going through divorces the whole time they were together. And, that they never brought it up.

I am attracted to the sort of masculinity that Junger is so good at illuminating. But brothers, something is terribly wrong when we can go into deep bonding adventures with other men, and not say a word about the ways our hearts hurt.

Let’s get better at being together, let’s get better at being men.