A Good Companion
tl;dr: A good coach is a good companion—today I’m asking you to tell someone about my coaching. Your support makes this work possible. We are wired for connection, yet we live in a culture that promotes isolation—leading to loneliness and a crisis of belonging. True growth happens through companionship and shared presence. This is what’s on offer.
ALSO! I must share that Tuesday, my adored wife is off in Costa Rica with almost 200 other women. They are immersed in four full nights of dancing and prayer. Their last dance is with tonight’s full moon. Let’s send them prayers of strength and devotion. And let’s receive the blessing of knowing that people all over the world have always found ways to keep and protect the old ways. The ways of embodied ritual and wisdom.
The truth is we need each other. From the moment that we are born. We need each other.
We are born more vulnerable than other mammals. A pony, for example, should be standing on four legs within an hour of its birth. Human babies on the other hand are fully dependent on the people around us for many many years.
We are a social species. We are made, we are constituted, to breathe, play and learn together. To regulate together, in proximity to one another.
We also happen to be a highly social species. That is stuck living in a hyper-individualistic culture. This mismatch is an odd bleep of time. It is an anomaly, a strange exception when you consider all of human history. The totality of the human experience.
This.isolation.is.NOT.normal.
And so we have a loneliness epidemic. And we have an anxiety epidemic. We have a crisis of belonging. We think that we have to figure things out on our own. We think the way to prove ourselves and our worth is done by us alone.
We have set out after an impossible task. And one that would not even be good for us if it was actually attainable.
This is why I have devoted my life to the work of building community. Why I live committed to the liberating power of co-evolution through friendship.
Because we know in our bones we need each other.
But we’ve been forgetting how to do it.
So I keep devoting my time to help us turn to one other. And I notice how my approach changes over time. I’ve tried many things. Still do many things. And over the last six or seven years, more and more of my work is focused on being a good companion. On bringing a strong and caring presence to brilliant, passionate people. Committed humans who are navigating times of volatility, uncertainty, complexity and ambiguity.
I think that’s what makes a good coach. A good coach is a good companion. A witness to your journey. Someone who will meet you with radical acceptance. And someone who will not flinch when it comes to the hard parts. Because the process of getting free actually means getting honest with ourselves. It means coming face to face with what we fear. And to count on an unflinching presence through the process.
A good companion is someone who is committed to being with you on the path. To helping you remember the truth of who you are. And to see you into becoming the most authentic expression of your life.
I’ve learned that you hearing about my work from others is better than hearing about it from me. That it is always better when you hear about this work from people who have first hand experience. It’s that social animal thing. We can trust when good people tell us what is good. And how, and why it is good.
I am always honored by the gift of your attention. We live in an infinity pool of information. And I know it’s a big deal when any of you choose to take some of that precious time to read my missives and reflections.
It is always a special honor when you say yes to my invitations.
We have a new coaching page. And it is with trust and gratitude that I am asking for your help. Do you know someone who could benefit from my coaching? Can you think of a specific person or two? Maybe you know an organization that knows how important it is for leaders to be well held and supported.
It will mean the world if you share this note with a person or two. If you link them to the testimonials on my coaching page. I trust this work because I see it work. Over and over again.
It is always a challenge to connect with people who are a few degrees outside our networks. Which is why I’m asking for you to help me invite your friends to consider my work.
You see, the more I can coach, the more I can keep doing all the other things I do. The offerings, the weaving of community, the making myself available to folks who do not have the means.
This is how reciprocity works.
I continue to facilitate selective spaces. I work with groups of people who have the courage and the longing to work beyond rigidity, fragility and dogma.
I also continue to offer healing work, and it keeps getting more potent, magical and holy.
Now with your help, I will get to offer more coaching work. Serve. Help. And create more space.