The Lie of the Butterfly

“The metaphor of the butterfly seems to be the perfect metaphor for our transformation fable…

But I’ve recently entered that chrysalis - I haven’t emerged yet and I have to tell you nothing feels normal or natural or evolutionary about it. It feels hard. And scary. And uncertain. And I DO NOT THINK MY CELLS KNOW HOW TO DO THIS.”

So mostly I’ve been surviving.

My training as a social worker, my loving and supportive family, and my spiritual practices did not prepare me for this level of uncertainty. This feeling like I am falling and, while I’m scared to hit the ground, I’m also not exactly sure there is a ground to hit. It is the most untethered I have been in my life, and I do not like it.”

Tuesday Ryan-Hart is my fiancé, she is the love of my life. She is my confidant and often my guide. She is one of the most courageous people I know. She wrote this short piece, and I just had to share it with you: The Lie of the Butterfly, and 4 Tips as Everything Dissolves.

I share it with you because it is deep and helpful wisdom for the journey that you are on. I have the most intimate, front row seat to this unfolding, and I can assure you that what she is speaking of is real. I see her working it, showing up for it, surrendering to it, living this way every.single.day.

I learn so much from her. And I apply it to my own life. I’ve been sharing the piece with my coaching clients, I bring it into some of my change facilitation and it is definitely part of the healing work I do.

Read it. Contemplate it. And apply it.

It might be exactly what you need.

There are many of us going through a BIG transformation right now.

Tuesday is not just my life partner. She is a life-changing coach to a lucky few. An expert who works with individuals and groups to develop ways of thinking and being that generate change at every scale.

We get to work together sometimes. We launched “What Should White People Do?” after the racial uprising of 2020. And we host a Community of Practice for Racial Justice in Climate Philanthropy.

We also love doing work with couples who want to deepen their intimacy, strengthen their relationship, and do the individual work necessary to show up more fully for each other, their family and their community. You can write to me directly if you want to learn more about this more exclusive part of what we do.

Let me know what you think about the writing, she’s got another good one coming. I’ll be sure to share it with you.

Saludos,

Gibrán